Happiness is a state of mind that most of us prefer, so some of our actions and decisions are made to make us happy. Happiness can be extreme, at the news of success, or can be modest, from an event, from certain persons, or from feelings. Happiness is different from the state of ‘not being sad’ because it is more than just that.
Some things make us happy, so do people. There are people we are just cool with, while some people make us really happy. It is natural to desire more of people that make us happy, we want more time with them, and we also want to stay within the boundaries of the relationship to keep the benefits.
Happiness, especially from people, with what they offer us, or what they are to us, increases our enthusiasm towards them, and this happens generally. Narrowing it to relationships for intending couples, or for partners, sheds light on the reason why some relationships can’t be borne, or why a partner does everything in a relationship and things still don’t work.
How happy is she, to be with me? Or how happy am I to be with her? Your call, her response; your text, her actions; your visits, her longings; your talk, her seriousness, can be used to measure how a partner sees you in a relationship. How happy is she to be with you, how important are you taken, are your calls and messages priorities? When you visit and you want to go, do you see the desire to keep you around?
These questions are function of enthusiasm, how much a partner is enthusiastic about the other. There are men and women who are not enthusiastic about certain suitors, but those suitors refuse to see that they aren’t. There are some who try to make their partners happy, but continue to go off message or over-do. Getting someone with that balance, who you are cool with, when serious or relaxed, is a good advantage to consider going ahead with – for a relationship.
Enthusiasm is key, before and during any relationship, it is necessary, as it will define reasons for the love and exchanges. It will help the man to turndown certain location transfer — for work or, having his leave when it won’t coincide with that of his partner. You want to share with someone you like and want to stay with someone you are happy with.
Enthusiasm peaks with time, mostly, but in a few cases, people become happy – quickly, with certain new friends or people, providing an advantage if a relationship is sought. Growing another person’s enthusiasm towards you, can be a big task, but should be worth it, if you are already enthusiastic about that person.
What interests the person and how you can measure up matters; for example, if a man or a woman likes discussing movies and cartoons after watching them, you may need to pay more attention when you watch, so he/she will have a reason to see you at certain times or to extend your stay when you meet. If a man/woman likes music, you may need to go some distance to get some songs before he/she does, to be able to say ‘I have that – new – song’.
A partner might like news, and discussion of news stories and events. Then you will need to improve your analytic skills, so at periods of big story run on the headlines, he/she does not go for better analysis with other friends than (say) weak ones from you. Enthusiasm however, may transcend these, if the partner is defaulting in other major areas.
Getting a partner to be enthusiastic about you may require gifts, belief, dates, ambition, good looks and economic and academic status. In a relationship or before going into one, doing some of these may be necessary, but check on how you fare, may be based on your assessment of your partner’s enthusiasm towards you.
You might also like:
This article was first published on 3rd January 2013 and updated on April 6th, 2016 at 7:45 am