Self-sabotage simply means undermining who you are. This entails your abilities, goals, dreams and everything you aspire to be. Sometimes, self sabotaging goes as far as destroying us emotionally, physically, mentally to deliberately hindering our success and goals. Everyone at some point in their lives have self sabotaged, and it is mostly done without full realization. To prevent self sabotage, we have to identify what it means and how it presents itself. Then, we will decipher how to prevent it.
Why do people self sabotage?
There are variety of reasons why this happens. It could emanate from a low esteem of oneself, or an inability to appreciate success due to a destructive childhood or unhelpful friendships.
Most times, these behaviors are caused by fear. People are afraid of the unknown, and untold rejections, so they would rather cut short their journey to success to avoid it.
Self-sabotage can be conscious or unconscious. Conscious self sabotage is when you are well aware of your effort to sabotage your success while unconscious self sabotage is when you do not realize your efforts to self sabotage until after it is done.
How to know you are self sabotaging
There are certain signs that point out to you that you are walking this route. Some of them are:
You deliberately create chaos and conflict when there is no need to.
You compare your achievements to others
You are constantly making excuses
You seek to please people with your actions, and do not consider what you really want
You do not want to leave your comfort zone
You constant self isolate and withdraw from profitable relationships.
Different ways Self Sabotage affects you
People who think they do not deserve healthy relationships engage in activities that sabotage them. Out of fear, they might pick fights, be close minded, controlling or end the relationship without cause, in a way to avoid being the recipient of a broken relationship.
Most people are very afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone as it relates to career. This could present itself in procrastination, delaying on assignments and tasks, frequently changing jobs, and being afraid to question status quo.
In finances, you might be unwilling to let go of a financial benchmark of earning, or push to get something better. As soon as you get some money, you will feel uneasy until you spend all of it.
How to stop self sabotaging
Learn how you engage in self sabotage
What way do you self sabotage? Why do you think you self sabotage in that way? What is the major trigger you have? Learning all these will help you know how best to navigate your way around it.
Become more self aware
You should take out time to become aware of yourself, especially emotionally and behaviorally. You can engage in journaling and conservations to develop insight about yourself so you adjust and make changes. Learn your strengths and amplify them. Do not get too consumed with what you do not know or what you are not doing rightly. Dwelling on your strengths boost your confidence and increases your output.
Become comfortable with failing
There are two outcomes of your actions. You either win or you lose. You must reorient yourself to know that you either win or you learn. Failure is not entirely negative. It could serve as a setback but it prepares you for long lasting victory at the end. You should get comfortable with failing because it is a necessary requirement for success.
Make the right changes
These changes consist of stretching yourself in goals, living with a purposeful pursuit in view and aligning them with the right actions. Pay attention to your values and ensure you set your goals in line with them.
Getting rid of self sabotage might require you speaking to a therapist. If you have engaged in all of these tips and you still are in a bubble, it just might be the right time to speak up and seek help.Featured Image Source: GrammarTop.com
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