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Mother-and-Child,
Mother and Child. Photo Credit: motherhood4real.com
As the saying goes; every child is your child. Parenting is one of the most important phases of adult life. Proverb 22:6, says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it (King James Version). Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance/control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness. Good parenting enhances intellectual curiosity, motivation, and the craving to achieve. Positive parenting is a vital act that helps protect children from developing anxiety disorders, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behaviour, and abuse of drugs and alcohol. When children feel good about themselves they are impervious to negative pressure and this gives them good willpower (to make right choices). Social networking (physical interaction), is a vital aspect in child development; it brings out the latent skills in them. A parent’s relationship with his or her child will be reflected in the child’s actions (positive or negative). The light and darkness reaction in biology, where flowers tend to tilt towards the direction of the sun, also applies to children. A child adheres more to the instruction of the parent he or she has a better rapport or relationship with and vice versa. If you have a good relationship with your children, the bond increases and they tend to trust you. Learn to listen to their opinions, and agree with them. Help the child develop into a decent, self-confident human being. One thing you should know; fear is not respect. What is the aim of being a parent if all you do is instill fear in your children? Below are a few positive parenting tips 1. Be the change. Be the change you want to see in your child. What you do matters, it makes a huge difference in their lives. Your kids are watching you. Don’t just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself; ‘What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?’ Talk to your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty. Encourage your child to read every day. Talk to him about his homework. When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying “You must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you” can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her. Don’t use distant language when relating with children. 2. Be a big part of their lives. Being an involved parent takes time and energy (hard work), you have to prioritize (a lot of rethinking and rearranging). Be there mentally as well as physically. Be loving and honest with your child and do things together as a family. Talk to them about their friends, their accomplishments, and the challenges they will face. Talk to them about saving and spending money wisely, in order for them to have a good saving culture and prudence. Help your child develop a sense of responsibility, involve your child in household chores especially cleaning and cooking. 3 Lay down rules. Spare the rod and spoil the child. If you don’t manage your child’s behaviour when he is young (toddler), he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older. These questions should always be stuck at the back of your mind as a parent; Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to life. Talk to your children about respecting others. Encourage them to help people in need. Talk to them about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful. In the early stage of life, children’s brains are like sponges, anything they take in or absorb that periods stays. So positive input is ideal for proper child development. 4. Avoid callous discipline. Never hit a child unnecessarily under any circumstance. Children faced with such physical attacks in the early stage of their lives are prone to violence, and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others. There are many other ways or methods to discipline a child, which work better and do not involve aggression. Correct a child with love. Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment which makes them feel unwanted and unloved. One thing we should put into consideration; they are children not slaves. 5. Independence, boundaries and limits. Boundaries and limits help your child develop a sense of self-control and coordination. Encouraging independence helps your child to develop a sense of self-direction and self worth. Children need all the factors listed above to be successful in life. Many a parent has misconstrued the child’s independence and equated it with being rebellious or non compliant. Like the tip states; independence, boundaries and limits, there should have a level of freedom and privacy afforded the child. It is just natural for humans to crave their space and independence, in order to feel in control rather than feel controlled. Children should be independent  in certain aspects of their lives but need established limits and boundaries, that is where proper parenting comes into play. Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age appropriate and enjoyable and that offer variety. Positive parenting is not as difficult as it looks, all it takes is a high level of empathy.
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This article was first published on 25th May 2013

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