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Ese Walter   Learning to live my authentic life… (1)

Physical abuse is obvious and easy to detect, but psychological abuse (which includes verbal and emotional) is not, and is arguably far more common in relationships. Unfortunately, with no visible scars and therefore no proof, more and more victims are choosing to suffer quietly; who will believe them? And even if they are believed, will it matter? Will anyone care? Is there a way out? One woman is shattering the silence, screaming out loud, “Yes, we care, and there is a way out!” and she is making her voice heard on her blog, Ese Walter. Ese Walter isn’t your regular blog, and Miss Ese Walter isn’t your regular blogger either. A self-described multi-passionate entrepreneur, Miss Walter is an attorney, model, and writer. However, it is for her radio show, Femina Speaks, that she is most beloved. The show, which focuses on “abuse in all forms against women”, airs on Crowther Radio 104.5FM Abuja, and is followed on Twitter and Facebook by those living outside the nation’s capital. In the post, “Let’s Talk Abuse, Shall We?” she speaks the heart of many women, calling attention to the often ignored yet devastating effects of non-physical abuse: “I was long past physical abuse by men I loved but had plunged head first into a different kind of abuse. One that occurred in a way that wasn’t easy for my programmed mind to detect. The feeling was the same though. The core emotion of what I felt when I was physically abused was the same as when I wasn’t touched. It was the look, the sarcasm, the put downs, the ‘silent-treatment’, the stalking, the controlling, and the manipulating. Funny thing was, I couldn’t explain in words how all of those made me feel.” Not one to let anything hold her back, the blogger’s ability to deal with her issues and shake off anything bogging her down is remarkable. In August, she decided that Social Media – Facebook, Twitter, Sound Cloud, Blackberry, Whatsapp, Instagram, Blogging and the like – was robbing her of real life connections, and quickly took steps to put a stop to it, deciding to take a break and explore her faith without external influences and thoughts. In “My Social Media Hiatus”, she writes, “I am learning and understanding Kingdom principles and how I have been cheated all this while because I was ignorant about what the word of God actually says I have been freely given. Being the researcher that I am, my curiosity has led me to the original text of the Bible. I have an insatiable appetite now and I will be seeking truth for the rest of my life. I am free. I am finally free. I am no longer where I used to be and in order to get where I am trying to go and walk in purpose, it has become necessary to shut off from social media and all them devices for a good while. I have chosen 29 days. So, for the next 29 days, I will be unavailable on Facebook, Twitter, Sound cloud and all other outlets that have become distractions for me. I want to harness this new season I feel I am walking into and this is the best way for me to go about it.” Miss Walter came back from that hiatus with a bang that reverberated across the entire nation, and beyond. Thousands of hits and motley comments later, the blog is not swayed from its purpose; advocating freedom from abuse of every kind. This blogger knows what she wants, and she goes for it. Anything standing in the way of a full life, human or otherwise, is unwelcome. Ese Walter is a blog calling women to courage, to honesty, and to the beauty of living an authentic life. Check it out!…Need it? Search it, Find it!  

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This article was first published on 19th October 2013


Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at]

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