There is nothing more vexatious than nagging. According to Wikipedia, it is a form of persistent persuasion that is more repetitive than aggressive. It is the most common complaint in a relationship. It is an ultimate relationship killer.
Effects of Nagging in a Relationship:
- Nagging cause your partner to ignore you: Yes, you heard right. Persistence in this would lead to lack of communication between you and your spouse. Decision making is relegated to the far end since you spend more time on finding faults
- It causes your partner to lose Motivation: When your spouse discovers that everything they do, you find fault in it, your spouse becomes exceedingly careful in approaching an issue or having a discussion with you.
- It creates arguments: Simple romantic arithmetic. You spend more time settling the arguments that arise from response or non-response of the nags by your partner than on the relevant issues your relationship needs to succeed.
- Nagging yield no results: You think your nagging would get issues resolved or get your partner’s attention? It’s a lie, Ko le werk! Incessant nagging won’t achieve any positive result and would leave you emotionally drained.
- It sucks the fun out of your relationship: Rather than being excited at the appearance of your spouse, nagging leaves you both wary of each others presence. Instead of using the time to invest in your relationship, you have exhausted it on nagging and arguing about nagging.
How To Deal With Nagging
- Be specific: Remember to ask clearly for what you want rather than assume your spouse is aware of your needs.
- Don’t be ambitious: Set your sights on small goals first, when it gets done, you can inquire further for another.
- Express gratitude: Be quick to say words of appreciation when your spouse gets things done. Don’t wait till it’s all piled up, and you are reminded of all the previous ones.
- Speak your partner’s love language: Understand your partner’s love language and relate to his/her style.
- Be positive: Try and focus on the good in your marriage.
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This article was first published on 18th September 2017
adepeju
Adepeju Adenuga is a writer (considering where you are reading this, makes perfect sense). She holds a Masters Degree in Literature in English from the University of Lagos.
Comments (4)
I believe there’s a positive side to nagging. Having been watching a couple next door, then I realized that some partners would rather take a step to do something when their partner starts nagging about it. However, I refuse to accept that nagging kills motivation. For some its a boost for their motivation.
Great one Adepeju,
Nagging is okay, but when it becomes extreme nagging, then it is poisonous to any relationship or even marriage.
In my recent article https://braveachiever.com/women-how-extreme-nagging-affects-your-partner/ I was able to come up with the side effects of extreme nagging, and guess what dear, it doesn’t just create argument, in fact, it’s one of those things that leads to domestic violence in our society.
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