Getting married is indeed a beautiful thing. It’s the coming together of two different people, now lovers and friends, to spend the rest of their lives together. It can be so exciting when getting married and most often couples in this state of excitement fail to discuss certain important issues before getting married.
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Little wonder, some marriages hit the rocks
at their infancy because certain discussions were not considered. When a study was carried out among couples, over 75% identified 10 recurring issues they wished they had discussed before getting married.
In this article, I’m going to highlight 10 things every couple MUST discuss before getting married.
Starting a marriage in outstanding debt
can put a lot of strain on couples. More painfully, if that debt is carried into the marriage by one partner secretly, it can cause the union to crash in a very short period of time. So before getting into the married life, it’s very important to know who’s in debt and what’s plan towards offsetting it.
Before getting married couples should discuss where they’ll start a family. Will they be on a move or find a state to make their permanent residence. It is important to let your partner know if your job demands an occasional change of location. Also, how can a location help your finance or health? For the reason of health, some couples might want to avoid crowded cities like Lagos.
Bank Accounts And Bill-Sharing
This is a very important discussion you must have with your partner. Do you people plan to hold a joint account
? Or maintain an individual account? How do you plan to share the billing? Is there a particular percent each partner has to contribute towards the upkeep of the house? Is there a plan for one partner to stay home and raise the kids, while the other does the financial upkeep of the family?
Division Of Household Labor
This type of discussion should not be trivialised. Who does the dishes, laundry, general cleaning and so on should form an important part of the discussion you must consider before getting married? If you hate cooking, but you prefer doing the dishes, broker an agreement with your partner to take on the dishes while he or she takes on the cooking. It’s important that it’s discussed because your partner might have some reservations or orientation concerning the distribution of household chores. Some men believe that’s the traditional role of women to cook and do the laundry.
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This is a very important conversation that you must have with your partner. Questions like having or not having children should be asked and well discussed. The number of children to have should involve both parties. Several reasons can inform a couple’s decision on the number of children to have. It could be hinged on financial, biological, or career conveniences.
Many couples shy away from discussing this, especially religious couples who do not believe in sex before marriage. Ask your partner if he or she is sexually healthy. Are there problems of low sperm count? low or very high libido? You both can carry out a medical test on each other to know if there are any issues that need addressing.
It’s important that you both understand the faith you both practice. In cases of different faiths, check if there’s a form of compatibility. Is one partner going to drop his/her faith and pick up the faith of the other? Will your partner’s faith affect your lifestyle in the long run. If you intend on having children, what faith would they be raised in?
Getting married is not restricted to both partners, their children and career must be on the table when discussing important issues before getting married. Career and family can compete for our commitment. How often you will be available for your children should be considered. How do you intend to balance work and family life as a couple? Is anyone resigning from his/her work to focus on family while the other does the hustling?
A Dream Home
How long do you both intend on becoming tenants if you both do not own your own home? You could have the dream of moving to your own home with the first five years of your marriage. Where do you plan to build your dream house to raise your family? Lagos? Abuja? Or close to your region of origin? Is the house a semidetached house? A bungalow? Having a dream home in mind can make you both bond more knowing that you both have similar goals.
Genotype And Blood Group
Discussing this is probably the most important of all the discussions. The term “genotype” refers to the genetic makeup of an organism; in other words, it describes an organism’s complete set of genes. Find out if both of you are genetically compatible.
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This article was first published on 28th August 2021